Okay people, let’s forget for a moment why we’re here toiling away like the Pyramid builders back in ancient Egypt. Haven’t I told you about my friend Commissioner B. ? Want a sample?
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Atmosphere. After turning the massage parlor graciously offered by his mother-in-law into a brothel, the jealous husband would film his wife and business partner’s services!
“Pictures and sound, gentlemen! Pictures and sound! Decency compels me to skip the pictures…” A lewd chuckle (mingled with a hint of bitterness), “…As for the sound, the conversations of these unscrupulous slanderers leave no doubt as to their willingness to sacrifice their respective families on the altar of their guilty passion.”
But where had this child from the suburbs of Bangkok learned to speak so learnedly? From the local officials who jostled at the door of his exotic bordello? Had the honorable intellectuals, writers, artists, and politicians (some of whom were quick to proclaim, why not on television, the indescribable joy of being unbuttoned by a young girl) given him private lessons?
“The world will know, Commissioner! The world will know all about their plan to run away together! Like thieves! Leaving Port-Léon without anyone knowing! To go and settle in the countryside! That scoundrel of a farang claimed he was about to inherit a castle! A castle, Commissioner! Ah, you should have heard him speculating about his own mother’s death, that good-for-nothing! Date after date, he worked her up into a frenzy, that loose woman…”
“Less than nothing,” “loose woman.” More delightfully vintage expressions gleaned from prostate-dependent gentlemen, fervent believers in essential oil body rubs…
“…Like they were going to start over from scratch… Set up a bed and breakfast, rent out rooms, or whatever… The ‘high life’, as they say…”
As they used to say, dude. It’s about time you brushed up on your linguistic fundamentals. Ask Chef Poiret to set you up with Netflix. Or listen to a little K-pop, may be…
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